


How to Marry Your Enemy

by theangryduckling



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alive Marco Bott, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Arranged Marriage, Businessman Erwin Smith, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Swears, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) and Cleaning, Mikasa Ackerman & Levi Are Related, Minor Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein, Multi, Non-Binary Hange Zoë
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-21
Updated: 2014-08-01
Packaged: 2018-02-09 18:17:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1992933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theangryduckling/pseuds/theangryduckling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To try and fix a long-standing war between the two countries of Trost and Sina, the royals of each kingdom have arranged a marriage between Princes Levi and Eren.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm Getting Married?

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a link to my drawings of what the staircase and kitchen would look like ^.^  
> http://msangelindisguise.deviantart.com/gallery/50402946/How-to-Marry-Your-Enemy
> 
> Here's my tumblr for writing:  
> http://happyducklingwrites.tumblr.com/
> 
> and my regular tumblr is xhappyducklingx thanks<3

     Eren looked around the room. There were many people loitering near the king and queen, trying their hardest to get in good with the royal family. The queen smiled softly at everyone who spoke to her while the king sat stiffly in his seat, waiting for each person to move on. Usually the king was extremely social, but something seemed to be off. He rushed through introductions and glanced around the ballroom every few minutes. His eyes would repeatedly return to the doors at the top of the marble staircase before glancing down at Eren. He looked as if he was waiting for someone to arrive. He looked down at the watch on his wrist, sighed, and shooed the person in front of him away. He stood up to address the room.

     The queen leaned down to her son, "Eren, promise you'll stay calm," he looked at her questioningly. She only shook her head and put a calming hand on his back.

     The king cleared his throat and the chatter around the room died down. He glanced at the doors again.

     "As you all know, our kingdom has long been at war with the country of Sina. There have been far too many unnecessary casualties on both sides. In the past, we have been excellent trading partners, and we want to go back to how we were. Our kingdoms would like to take a step to reuniting." there were unhappy murmurs coming from the crowd now. They didn't see how this could be fixed so easily, after so long. "King Ackerman has a son."

     Eren's eyes widened. He began to understand what his mom meant by 'stay calm'. His father couldn't be doing what he thought, though, could he?

     Oh, but he could.

     "King and Queen Ackerman have agreed that in the interest of our kingdoms and our people, our two sons will be married."

     Time stopped for Eren. He could vaguely hear small gasps of surprise and the mutterings of judgemental people. He didn't care. He was to be _married_. To a prince of a country they are at _war_ with. No doubt this prince would hate him and his home.

     His father's voice brought him back to reality, "Prince Levi will arrive in Trost tomorrow. We hope our country can give him a warm welcome," so, in other words, he hoped they wouldn't riot against him, "A diplomat of Sina will arrive shortly to finish arrangements."

     He sat down again. The room was silent for a moment, but they soon resumed what they were doing before the announcement. More people approached Eren to congratulate him on his engagement, even if it was forced. He would thank them and smile like he was taught to.

     Soon, the doors opened and a man walked in. He was tall and very handsome. _Very_ handsome. He had blond hair neatly sculpted into a professional undercut. Calculating blue eyes resided under a pair of gigantic eyebrows. Eren wondered if they would one day come to life and fly away. They definitely had the spirit.

     The room fell silent. The man approached the king and introduced himself.

     "Your Majesty, I am Erwin Smith. I have come representing the country of Sina in regards to the betrothal of Prince Eren Jaeger," he nodded at Eren, "and Prince Levi Ackerman."

     "Welcome to our kingdom. We wish to make this as easy as possible on both sides. For now, feel free to enjoy the ball until the end of the night, when we will begin the meeting."

     "Of course, Your Majesty. It is an honor to meet you." He moved on to converse with the guests. Quite a few were completely taken with him, apparently. The group of people around him was almost bigger than Eren's.

     Eren turned to his mother. He felt numb. "I'm getting married?" he choked out.

     She sighed. "Yes, Eren. It's necessary for the welfare of our country. I can't tell you how much I wish there was another way to solve this. I hate that there isn't. Eren, promise you'll be on your best behavior tomorrow, okay?"

     "I'll be nice if he is," he murmured. To please his mother, however, he finished, "But I'll try, Mother."

     The rest of the night passed in a blur. He talked and joked with the guests, as well as the servants he was fond of. By the end of the night he was tired and hungry, despite the mini-sandwiches they were serving. Because mini-sandwiches are _so_ filling.

     He slipped into the kitchen for some much-needed food. There were a few servants in there, along with the cooks.

     "Connie, Sasha, do you guys have anything for me to eat? I'm starving. Those mini-sandwiches are delicious, but should be left for people who have already eaten." He laughed and sat down next to Armin at a small table.

     "Here, Eren! I tried a new recipe for the sauce in this dish! Will you taste test for me?" Sasha pushed a bowl of pasta towards him excitedly. The aroma of the dish assaulted his nostrils instantaneously and he gasped. It smelled tantalizing and he reached for the nearest utensil. It didn't matter to him that it was the spoon from Armin's bowl of cereal, all that mattered was him getting this heaven in a bowl to travel through his mouth to his stomach. He dug into it, despite Armin's protests to him using his spoon, and it was _bliss_. He sighed into the spoon that was still hanging from his mouth.

     "Sasha, wow! This is delicious, how do you do it?" he murmured contentedly. He shoveled another spoonful into his mouth.

     Armin had gotten another spoon from a drawer and resumed eating his cereal when Eren took the new spoon as well and scooped up some more pasta. "You have got to be kidd-- _mmph!_ "

     Eren shoved the spoon into his friend's mouth. "Man, you have to try this! Connie, you try it too!"

     Armin was still choking on the pasta when Connie said, "I already did, Eren! What, do you think I wouldn't try my girlfriend's own special sauce?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

     "Oh my God, Connie, _no_." Armin could barely be heard because of Connie and Sasha's resounding laughter.

     Eren laughed along with his two friends until Ymir entered the kitchen.

     "Eren, your parents want you in the dining hall. They want to discuss your _marriage_." Eren grimaced. This was not a conversation he wanted to have. Connie clapped him on the back.

     "You got this dude! You better just hope he's hot!" He grinned as Eren made his way out of the room.

 

* * *

 

     "Levi! _LEVI!_ Your mother wants you!" Hanji came barreling into the room at full speed with two beakers of unidentified substances in their hands. "And she said I could use you for testing if you don't come!"

     Levi bolted out of his seat, "Hanji, what the _fuck?_ " he narrowed his eyes, "I could have been jerking off! Don't run in here like that!"

     They just laughed. They shook the beakers in their hands, "Well, you better get going! I _really_ need a test subject, you know." They grinned menacingly. He skirted out of the room before they could say anything else. He was halfway down the hallway when he heard Hanji's voice again.

     "Wrong way! They're in the conference room!" they cackled as he was forced to backtrack past his room. He could still hear their mad laughter when he was standing in front of the door to the conference room. He pushed the door open.

     His mother and father were sitting side by side on one of the large couches. His mother was smiling serenely while his dad looked somber. He figured that something must be wrong. He wasn't one to beat around the bush, so he didn't hesitate to ask, "What's wrong?"

     "Well, nothing's wrong, per se... But you might not be happy about it," his mother admitted. Her smile was replaced with a small frown. She looked apprehensive. "Come sit down." She gestured to the couch situated on the other side of the coffee table across from them. He made his way over and sat down slowly.

     "What's this about?" he asked. He didn't like their expressions.

     "You are aware of our war with the country of Trost, yes?" Levi nodded, "Well, we are trying to take steps to reunite our kingdoms. The king and queen of their country would also like to end this war. However, the people are less than happy to end this after so long without a clear... winner." She grimaced. One kingdom could only win if the other was annihilated, and she knew that. She continued, "We've come to an agreement. It involves you."

     He stayed silent until his father spoke up, "Their kingdom has a prince. He's around your age, and I've been told he's very handsome."

     Levi's eyes widened minutely.

     He knew where this was going,

     "And he will be your new husband." His mom sounded apprehensive, but there was a hint of excitement in her voice. She never thought her son would marry.

     "You're kidding, right? I don't even know this kid. How can you expect me to _marry_ him?"

     "But you will know him! You're meeting him tomorrow."

     " _Tomorrow?_ Why couldn't you have told me _earlier?_ " His mother chuckled.

     "You're lucky. Guess how his parents told him!" His father let out a small laugh as well. "Or are going to tell him." She added as an afterthought.

     "...How?" He couldn't see a different way you could tell someone.

     "Well... their kingdom is holding a ball tonight. They will announce the marriage to the room. Eren, the prince, doesn't know of the marriage yet. He'll find out when everyone else does." she laughed again. What was so funny?

     "Why? That's _awful_." It was hard enough hearing it alone with his parents, he couldn't imagine hearing it in front of a giant room full of people.

     "They're doing it so he won't be able to argue. Apparently Eren is very hard-headed, so this will keep him quiet until he's had a chance to think of the good this will do." His mother smiled as she spoke. She didn't see the problem.

     He must have looked upset, because the next second--

     " _AW, LEVI!_ You already care about your new _husband!_ " Hanji squealed as they came into the room. They had stains upon stains littering their front. Levi clicked his tongue.

     "I don't care about some snot-nosed brat that has to be forced to hold his tongue." He wasn't _exactly_ lying. He had no reason to care, he just empathized with him. He knew that would be awful. There wasn't any way he could blame him for wanting to speak out, however. Levi hadn't exactly handled the news well on his part.

     " _Leviiiii_ , just admit it! You're excited to see him!"

     "No, I'm not." he muttered.

     "You will be when you see him! He's _gorgeous!_ I would marry him in a heartbeat!" His father eyed her out of the corner of his eye.

     "Mom, you're making Dad jealous." he was glad there was something to distract him from her earlier statement.

     "I'm serious! You'll probably jump him the moment you see him." she grinned. She was quickly losing her professional manner.

     He put a palm to his forehead, "Oh my God. I thought you hadn't even seen him."

     "Your father hasn't! I have!" she was getting increasingly happier.

     "So have I! Honestly Levi, do you never use the internet?" Hanji intervened. They tried to shove a tablet in his direction, but his mother yanked it back before they could.

     " _No!_ I want it to be a surprise!" she squealed, "It'll be so _romantic!_ "

     Levi just stared. " _Tch_. Whatever, fine. I'm going to go back to my room."

     He stood up as his mom called out, "We're cutting off the internet access to your room! I will _not_ let you see him yet!"

     "Yeah, okay." _Like I would want to see him_ , he thought.

     Hanji followed him out into the hallway. They grinned, "He really _is_ cute, you know. He's supposed to be really nice as well!"

     "Whatever. I don't even know how old he is, Hanji. How the fuck am I supposed to _marry_ him?" he couldn't see any way this could go well.

     "Well," they started, looking at the tablet in their hands, "he's 20. His name is Eren Jaeger. He spends most of his time with the servants that work at his home. He's known for having a bad temper, but good morals. There are more than a few stories of him stepping in on fights his friends got in. It looks like his heart's in the right place, Levi! Just give him a chance." Levi scoffed.

     "Whatever. That got really gooey, Hanj. I won't be mean to him, I promise. Let's just see how he acts towards me."

      _Tomorrow will be an interesting day_ , Hanji thought as they watched Levi walk away.

 


	2. Meeting the Husband

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First impression and shit

     As pressing as the matter of his engagement was, Eren still couldn't get his mind off that pasta. He would give up his title as prince and heir to the throne for just ten minutes with a bowl of that pasta. It was exquisite, it was magical, it was _perfect_. He had to have more. He began to consider turning back and bringing it with him for this meeting, but thought twice when he saw the tall, professional man standing at the end of the hallway with his parents. They were smiling and laughing quietly while waiting for him. He sighed and stepped forward.

     "Oh, Eren. Thank you for joining us, we'll begin the meeting now." His father smiled as he led the way into the large room. Eren entered last behind the tall man.

     Erwin spoke first. "Now, in regards to the wedding date, it should be held within the next three months. In that time, Eren and Levi will have had time to get to know each other and possibly begin a romantic relationship. That is a best case scenario."

     "What's a _worst_ case scenario?" Eren cut in.

     Erwin didn't even hesitate to say, "If either of you go on a murdering rampage and kill the other, it would be a very big problem." He smiled sweetly while he spoke, but the royals were sure there was a warning behind it.

  _Don't go on a murdering rampage._ Noted.

     Eren sighed, "Alright, alright. I promise I won't murder him. What if we hate each other?"

     "You deal with it. This is important for the sake of our countries, so we will not let emotions or anything similar affect this. As far as the public is concerned, you must make them believe that you 'hit it off' immediately and are now helplessly in love." His dad's eyes bore into him while he spoke. There was no room for arguing.

     "Okay."

     His mom hadn't spoken yet, but chose the short silence that followed her son's confirmation to exclaim, "Now! Let's decide what they're going to wear! I think Eren should wear a dress."

     Eren and his father stared incredulously at her while Erwin stifled a laugh. Eren was suddenly plagued by the image of him in a dress. To his horror, he realized it probably wouldn't look very bad at all. It might even look good. That was worrying.

     "Why should I have to wear a dress? I don't understand."

     "It'll look good! I promise! Oh, and flowers, we need those."

     "I will _not_ wear a dress." he muttered.

     "We'll see!" she smiled sweetly, but he knew she was just plotting.

     "Whatever. What is he even like? How old is he? Why don't I know these things about my _fiancé?"_

     Erwin looked down at a sheet of paper he had pulled from his briefcase, "He's 24 years old, he has one younger sister, and he insists on everything around him being spotless. He likes cats."

     "What a catch," Eren deadpanned.

     "He's also handsome," Erwin added.

     Eren sighed. This was going nowhere. He quickly realized there was no getting out of it.

     With a resigned sigh, he mumbled, "Where would we live?"

     "You _will_ live in Sina," his father said, putting stress on _will_ as a simple reminder: _This is happening, whether you agree or not_ , "And you will leave in two days."

     Eren began to realize this was less of an arranged marriage and more of a forced one.

 

* * *

 

 

     "Hanji!" Levi yelled into the phone. He waited a moment to let them speak before he muttered, "I don't _care_ what he thinks, I care what his parents and the public think. Now _tell me what to wear!"_

     He put the phone on speaker and threw it onto the bedside table next to him. Looking at his closet, he realized it was just an assortment of random articles of clothing in different shades of black. Maybe a few things with color here and there, but definitely not enough to pass as a normal human being with normal clothes. He sighed as he shuffled through the many casual pieces, searching for more formal ones. He found a dark blue dress shirt near the back, along with a pair of black slacks.

     "Alright, Hanj, I've got a blue dress shirt and some black slacks on. I'll send you a picture, tell me if it'll work," he fumbled with the phone for a minute before sending the picture. It wasn't great in quality, but it would do.

     "No, no, _no!_ This is _way_ too formal! Wear... Wear those white jeans I bought you!" Hanji squealed excitedly into their phone. He normally wouldn't wear jeans to something this serious, but he figured these would do, especially if Hanji recommended them. They have an impeccable fashion sense, after all. After slipping them on, he realized they looked professional on him, somehow.

     "Okay, they're on."

     "Send me a picture, Levi, send me a picture!" he scoffed before snapping another photo.

     "Perfect! You know, if you don't jump Eren when you see him, he'll definitely jump you! I can't wait, I get to see porn up close later today!" Hanji laughed loudly.

     "Hanji."

     "Sorry, sorry! You better go, Levi, don't wanna miss seeing your _husband!_ " they squealed again as they hung up.

      _This is too much_ , he thought.

     He marched out of his room into the hallway, turning right towards the living room. As he walked, his eyes scanned the paintings on either side of him. There were multiple portraits of his grandparents, his grandparents' grandparents, and his grandparents' grandparents' grandparents, dating all the way back to the 16th century. He knew that one day, his picture would be up there too. Each picture had a portrait of their spouse next to them, and for the first time it crashed down on him that he was getting _married_. He had a moment of panic, stopped in front of his great-grandfather's picture next to his great-grandmother's. He looked up to them. Their marriage had been arranged as well, and they came to love each other quickly. As he calmed down, he could only hope the same would be said about he and Eren in the future. He didn't want to marry someone he didn't love.

      _But you might have to, so shut up,_ the little voice in the back of his head nagged him, _your feelings don't matter here. All that matters are the countries' wellbeing._

     He sighed and pushed into the living room. His mother and father stood waiting at the door. They smiled as they waved him over, and he grimaced. Slowly, he walked towards them, past them, and sat in the car. He didn't look back at them, afraid his face would show his apprehensiveness. He refused to show weakness in front of them.

     He leaned his head against the window, ignoring each jolt the car made when it started up, effectively slamming his forehead into the window. He huffed a breath of air out, preparing for the long journey.

 

* * *

 

 

     Eren looked down at his clothes again.

     He was wearing a purple, tunic-like shirt over a pair of black leggings. Leggings. His mom was doing her best to dress him as a girl, because 'he has the body for it.' Not to say Eren minded, they were extremely comfortable. He was just worried that she would force him into more and more girls' clothing until she one day forced him into a wedding dress. He wouldn't let that happen. _Ever_.

     Prince Levi and his family were supposed to arrive in half an hour, but Eren's parents insisted on getting here to greet them early. For some reason. Hospitality or something.

     Armin walked into the room alongside Erwin. He had a bag slung over his shoulder, clashing brilliantly with his uniform. The bag was large, and hung past his knees. Eren didn't even bother wondering what was in it. Knowing Armin, it could be anything. He was talking animately to Erwin about who-knows-what, and Erwin was responding with equal enthusiasm, if not more. They seemed to be hitting it off. Eren smiled at the sight, it was nice to see his timid friend opening up to someone so quickly.

     His father cleared his throat, looking at the two. They looked up, seemingly remembering they were in a room with other people. Erwin straightened up, looking towards the king, "My apologies, sir. Armin and I were having an extremely interesting conversation. Armin mentioned to me that it would be difficult for Eren to settle into Sina so quickly without knowing anyone there, and I suggested he come along. Armin is simply _wonderful_ and would make an amazing asset in Sina," Armin flushed red at this comment, and Eren raised an eyebrow at him. Luckily, all eyes were on Erwin, so no one noticed this exchange. Erwin continued, "He would definitely make this easier for Eren."

     Only then did Eren grasp the full concept of what was happening. Armin was coming _with him_.

     " _Armin!_ You're coming?" he rushed down and grabbed his friend's hands in his own, smiling brightly. With Armin there, this would all be much easier. It seemed like more of a vacation than anything for a moment.

     Armin smiled and gestured to the bag hanging from his side, "Yep! I've got my stuff too! We're leaving it with the car when they get here." Armin was all smiles. He was just a excited as Eren.

     "I don't remember okaying this," his father voiced.

     "That's because you didn't, _dear._ I did. Having Armin there will be good. You know he's trustworthy, right?" the queen smiled menacingly at her husband, daring him to contradict her.

     "Yes, he is. I was simply wondering who had agreed to this." He quickly covered his mistake with a lie and a laugh.

     Eren turned back to Armin and squealed excitedly. Armin squealed back. They were dancing around hand in hand when there was a loud cough from the front of the room.

     Eren and Armin froze, slowly turning to their guests.

     "Hi," Eren offered meekly.

 

* * *

 

 

     Levi didn't know what to expect when he first saw Eren.

     He had hoped for him to be mature and attractive.

     He could tolerate him being loud and hot.

     He didn't know what to do with the fact that Eren was sweet and cute.

     He didn't know many cute people. The population of Sina consisted of people with dark hair and darker expressions. Eren consisted of sunshine only.

     When he and his family walked into the room, their eyes immediately fell to the two boys dancing in front of them. One was obviously a servant, and the other, they reasoned, must be the prince. Levi followed him with his eyes, taking in his childlike glee. His hair fluttered around his head as he pranced to and from in the room. The way it shined should be illegal, at least in Levi's opinion.

     All of this led up to Levi being a complete loss for words, and for that, he was furious.

     Furious that some brat he'd not even met was almost making him blush. Furious that his heart leaped in his chest when he saw Eren's breathtaking eyes widening at the realization that his guests were here, staring at him. And furious that he was furious.

     He missed Eren's greeting while he was glowering at him.

     " _What_ are you doing?" he asked, anger dripping off his tongue and hanging thickly in the air.

     Eren stood up straighter, facing Levi. His sweet, childlike demeanor was gone. "We were celebrating because Armin," he gestured to the blond beside him, "Will be accompanying me to Sina. We did not expect guests for another twenty minutes." His voice sounded happy, but Levi could hear the challenge behind it. Daring him to say something rude about he and his friend.

     Levi's mother chose that moment to cut in, "We arrived ahead of schedule. We hope we aren't inconveniencing you?"

     Eren and Levi were still glaring at each other when Eren's mother answered, "Of course not, we are happy to see you."

     "Thrilled." Eren added in a deadpan.

     The royalties of Trost glanced at their son before looking back to the people in front of them.

     Armin had backed up to Erwin's side. He looked to Erwin imploringly, begging him to resolve the issue that was the upset princes. Erwin stepped forward and cleared his throat.

     "Prince Eren of Trost, I introduce to you Prince Levi of Sina."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry they didn't do much!! next chapter'll be good though <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorks. <3

     Eren was livid. How _dare_ he come in here and look at him like that?

     And how _dare_ he be so attractive while doing it?

     The prince in question was short, probably more than a couple inches shorter than Eren. Even with his small stature, however, he seemed to tower over everyone in the room, his fierce grey eyes staring piercingly at Eren's. There was a pair of glasses balanced lowly on his nose. His thin eyebrows were furrowed, but mostly hidden by neatly parted black hair. The breeze from outside was just enough to make it skirt around his head haphazardly, showing off his highlights perfectly. His head actually seemed to glow. Eren noted how perfectly the navy shirt he had on accented his hair, and how the white jeans he was wearing were only a few shades lighter than his skin. He was wearing vans, of all things, but they worked. They worked _very_ well. Damn this man and his ability to make _shoes_ attractive.

     After Erwin had introduced them, the kings and queens began to greet each other. The princes stood rooted to the spot.

     "Eren, come here." His father's voice had an air of finality to it, but the rebellious side of Eren refused to budge. He stood glaring at the handsome prince until there was a small hand on his elbow.

     "Eren, you should really do as your father says. You don't want him to get angry, and you should be polite." Armin pulled his arm a little, leading him back to the crowns. He added under his breath, "No matter how rude he is." Eren walked over begrudgingly, eyes on his parents. He stood stiffly next to them, even after Armin had slid back to his spot next to Erwin. He watched Levi make his way over to them as well.

     "Queen Jaeg--" Levi's father began, only to be cut off.

     "Please, call me Carla." she beamed.

     "Carla," he amended, "It is an honor to meet you and your son in person. Pictures do not do you justice, you are simply ravishing." Eren caught the nudge he received from Levi's mother, probably telling him to tone it down, as Grisha suddenly looked less than happy to see him. Eren stifled a laugh against his hand, but quickly regained his composure, smoothing down the front of his tunic. He didn't want Prince Levi to see him as anything but mature at this point. "And Grisha, it has been many years since I last saw you. How have you fared?"

     "Very well, thank you. The war has been taxing, but it is nothing we cannot recover from." His tone was conversational, but his words indicated he expected the two princes to participate sooner rather than later. He was tired of waiting.

     Levi was the first to speak up after an awkward spell of silence. "Prince Eren, it is an honor to meet you." He bowed slightly once he had finished speaking. Before Eren had a chance to reciprocate the greeting, however, he was cut off by a loud squeal and a flurry of movement from the front of the room. Someone had shoved in the room at full speed, straight towards Levi. They jumped on his back, only sending him slightly off balance. Eren's parents regarded her with caution while the royals of Sina merely sighed softly. Prince Levi, however, looked utterly annoyed. Eren wondered how the newcomer could stay so calm while on the back of someone that looked that murderous.

     Levi was muttering something indistinguishable while trying to shake them off when his father spoke up. "This is our youngest child, Hanji. They are excited to be here, as you can see." he chuckled slightly towards the end of his sentence.

     Finally, Hanji slid off his back. They turned to Eren, "You must be Eren! See, Levi, I told you he's cute!" Eren felt his face heat up despite his resistance to let Levi see him as childish again. "Look at that! Look at his face, he's blushing! Come on, how come you haven't jumped him yet?" Levi seemed to have gotten angrier, if possible. His parents just chuckled softly. "I mean, he's totally your type--"  
  
     They were cut off by a hand over their mouth. Prince Levi nearly growled his next words, "So help me Hanji, if you finish that sentence I will personally shove a broom up your ass."

     Eren tried, really tried, not to laugh. But, alas, he failed. His laughter floated through the silence that had settled in the room after Levi spoke. He was nearly clutching his sides when Hanji said, "Isn't that something people like, though? I mean, for all I know, I'd really like that! What if you awaken me to a whole new kink I could get into?" They grinned broadly.

     While their mother appeared unaffected by their children's bickering, their father had paled quite a bit. Eren thought it was because his children were saying such vulgar things, but that thought was diminished when he spoke. "A _new_ kink, Hanji?" He seemed a little dizzy.

     "Well, yeah. I haven't tried it yet, so it couldn't be an _old_ kink! Dad, you're so behind on the times." Hanji seemed oblivious to their father's lightheadedness. That is, until he slumped into his wife's waiting arms.

     She spoke, "I'm very sorry about this, my husband can be faint at times. Please excuse us. Let us give this time to the princes to get acquainted." Erwin stepped forward and helped her in dragging her husband out of the room, leaving two slack-jawed Jaegers behind. They slowly followed the retreating figures. Hanji trailed after them, giving their brother a flippant wave as they walked. Eren, on the other hand, had reduced his laughing to quiet wheezing. He didn't notice the softened look Levi gave him.

 

* * *

 

 

     Levi shifted uncomfortably. Eren had stopped laughing, opting to stand in silence instead. They had been staring at each other for the past five minutes.

     Levi suddenly remembered how rude he'd been. Normally he wouldn't have cared, but if he was to spend the rest of his life with this kid, well... He'd like to be on good terms at least. _Or more than good terms,_ said a voice in the back of his mind, _Say something to make up for it._ "Sooo.." he began. _Say something cool!_ , "You... You come here often?" _Great. Great_ fucking _job, Levi. This is his_ house. _Of_ course _he comes here often._

     He wished he could melt into the ground as Eren's incredulous stare bore into his own deceitfully bored one. "No. _No,_ I do not come here often." If it weren't for the amused smile he wore, and the light tone in his voice, Levi would have thought he was annoyed. He let out an unnoticeable sigh of relief that Eren hadn't gotten angrier at him. If anything, it seemed to have lightened the mood. He searched for a better topic of conversation.

     "So, that blond. He's coming to Sina?" He wondered what type of relationship they had. They seemed less like servant and master, and more like brothers.

     Eren's face split into an easy grin that left Levi shocked and blinded for a moment. He only heard the end of his fiance's sentence, "...really glad someone I know can be there with me. I don't know what I would do without..." Levi lost focus again in way of watching how Eren splayed his fingers through his hair. He didn't even realize he'd been asked a question until Eren took a step closer, concern displayed on his face. His hostile attitude from earlier had disappeared, lucky for Levi.

     "Levi?" there was a hand waving in front of his face. "Levi? You there?" Levi swatted his hand away.

     "Yeah, I'm here. Get your hands away from me." he snapped. Eren took a step back, and his defensive attitude returned. _Fuck, fuck, fuck. You insulted him again, you_ idiot. _Find a way to make up for it. Don't be stupid, though._

     "No! I mean, don't." _Fucking idiot._

     "Don't get my hands away from you?" Eren looked very confused, but at least he wasn't angry.

     "No. I mean. Just." He couldn't find the right words. Not to mention, his normally calm demeanor had been reduced to next to nothing. He was actually _flustered._ This day couldn't get any worse.

     Eren laughed. "Well, I can show you around the castle while you figure it out. It's pretty cool."

     "Yeah, let's do that." Anything to run away from this train-wreck of a conversation.

 

* * *

 

 

     "So! This is the living room. We tend to live here. That couch is for cuddling, that one is for fucking, and that one is for watching action movies."

     "This is the kitchen. People cook here. Connie makes jokes about his and his girlfriend's sex lives."  
  
     "This is the dining room. People eat here. And some people have sex here. On that table."  
  
     "This is one of the many bathrooms. People piss, shit, and jerk off here. They also wash their hands because it's disgusting as fuck if you don't."

     "This is the conference room. We confer here. No one's been in here for ages, so you can ignore it."

     "This is the library. People read here. And one certain blond friend of mine steals books from here. I hope you aren't too attached to the books at your place."

     "This is all of the servants' rooms. Connie and Sasha bang in that one. I can hear it from my room."

     "Which brings us to the next part of the tour! This is my room. I sacrifice children to Satan here."

 _Oh.That's nice._ Eren didn't even hesitate to move on with the tour, leaving a stunned Levi behind him. He'd never spoken to someone so _blunt_ before, excluding himself. With a small chuckle, Levi hurried back to Eren's side. They went through a small door.

     "There's a garden out there. Do you want to see it?" Eren pointed to a small set of double doors at the end of the long hallway they had just entered. The walls of the hall were littered with small scraps of paper and various items that had been pinned up. Levi eyed a document that seemed to be one of Hitler's speeches. He sent Eren a questioning look. Eren let out a short laugh and gestured around vaguely, "I use this area for a lot of things. Drawing, crafts, recipes. You name it, it's probably here."

     "Explicit gay porn."

     Eren turned a bright red but laughed nonetheless. He pointed at a small manila folder that had been taped to the wall. "Take a look. Like I said, I've got everything." Levi took a few steps forward and peeked in the folder. There were a few CDs, some magazines, and what looked like a bottle of lube at the bottom. He took a few shaky steps backwards and finally noticed the big black letters on the folder.

_PORN_  
 _(do not touch)_

     Levi wasn't one to blush often, but he sure could stutter if the need came. "Y-You.. have it... on display."

     Eren let off an echoing laugh. "No, no. Usually I have this covering it." He flipped a small piece of paper over it. It had a recipe for baby food on it. "I just forgot." While Levi had thousands of questions racing through his mind, only one seemed pertinent.

     "Why do you have a recipe for baby food?"

     Eren glanced at him and shrugged. "I wanted to see if I could make it."

     "Oh. Could you?"

     "I might have started a fire."

     "Oh," was all Levi could say. He looked around the at the papers on the walls. There were numerous sets of instructions on how to make a boat, along with a few sketches depicting said boat. Levi stepped closer to a particularly large one. It started above his head and stopped just around his naval. The amount of time and effort that had to have been put into it was astounding. It seemed like a simple boat, but the figurehead said different. On it was a large eagle, wings thrown wide like it was about to fly off. There was a small crows nest, and other various ship parts littering the deck. Levi couldn't name them for the life of him.

     He glanced sidelong at Eren, who had been flitting from paper to paper on the walls. He had a pencil in his hand pressed against a small sheet. Looking closer, Levi noted that it looked like poetry. Reluctantly, Levi pulled him from his fast scribbling.

     "Eren, did you draw this?" Eren shot back from his spot pressed against the wall, shocked. He probably didn't often have people with him when he came in here.

     "Huh? Oh, yeah. Do... do you like it?" Eren looked like a child again, blushing lightly, tilting his head towards the floor sheepishly. It was _cute._ Hanji would scream if they could hear Levi's thoughts at that moment.

     "Yeah. It's amazing, really. How long did you work on this?" Levi could have mistaken it for a professional's, and all the fine details said it took much longer than a simple sketch would.

     Eren coughed into his hand, "That took me about a day. I didn't move for almost 20 hours while doing it." He laughed lightheartedly.     

     "Oh, so you can _do it_ for that long. Interesting." Levi smirked and started walking towards the garden doors, missing Eren's flustered expression behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if I made it clear enough, but Eren wasn't being serious when he said he sacrificed children to Satan.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading <3


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